The Gods discover Apple Apps
by dnapolymerase314
Summary: Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Unfortunately for him, the other gods keep stealing it to play these strangely addicting mortal games. T...just for fun.
1. Angry Birds

**I just got an iPod and I'm discovering the wonders of it, along with the Gods :D **

**BTW, I didn't do an iPhone because…well because I don't know how it works lol**

**(Since I'm new to this whole 'App' thing, please give me suggestions!)**

**Angry Birds**

Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Sleek, shiny, and super…awesome. He's also downloaded one of the most popular apps: Angry Birds! Unfortunately for him, the other gods have been stealing his iPod to play this strangely addicting game…

**Zeus:**

Stupid swine! Ugh! These birds lack aim! I can't believe these creatures dare to fly in my skies! How did I miss? I AM ZEUS, LORD OF THE SKY AND I NEVER MISS! Well…okay maybe once I was aiming to blast Hades's Death Spawn, Nick or something and I missed but he shadow-traveled! That's totally cheating! I MISSED AGAIN! UGH!

Blasts screen with Lightning Bolt.

There. That should do it. Wait…why isn't it turning on?...How do I explain this to Hermes? Darn it…

**Poseidon: **

I love this game! I do this for fun in my underwater realm, except I use fishes and dolphins! I hate these land and sky creatures. Sea animals FTW! PEW! PEW! PEW! DIE PIGS DIE. HAHAHA JUST BEAT ZEUS'S HIGH SCORE…Wait, how does Athena have the highest score?

**Hades:**

Why aren't these idiot pigs not dying? Why are they green? I MISSED! When I get them, I will make sure that their souls are tortured for eternity. These birds are of Brother Zeus's realm. That's why they always miss! If I could use…say hellhounds or skeletons, there is no way I could lose!

**Hera:**

Now I know why Zeus isn't spending time with me. I thought he had run away with a mortal woman or a dryad but it turns out he was spending time with this infernal shiny device.

Jealous

I WILL DESTROY ALL COMPETITION! HERA-KARATE-CHOP!

HA! NOW MY LITTLE ZEUSY WILL HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

Uh…Hermes? Your iPod? Sorry.

**Athena:**

This is a waste of time.

_5minutes later…_

What? No I wasn't playing. I was…enriching my mind.

_10 minutes later…_

Seriously, I wasn't playing. I was observing the technology. Ingenious little mortals.

_15 minutes later…_

HIGH SCORE! Um…I was just reading something.

_2 hours later…_

YES! LEVEL 340984 DEFEATED!

**Artemis:**

These blasted birds! Even my brother Apollo has better aim than you! Go kill those pigs! Men are pigs! BLAST THEM TO PIECES!

**Apollo:**

God of Arrows here,

I totally rock this game,

I am so awesome.

**Ares:**

If only I had this during the Trojan War…They would have definitely forgotten about that lady, Helen, and would have fought over something that really matters…YES! NEW HIGH SCORE!

**Aphrodite:**

I'm so pretty! What? No, this isn't a gaming device. It's a _mirror. _Both sides work! Why does it say "iPod" on the back? It totally covers my view of my perfect nose! Ugh!

**Hephaestus:**

No! The mortals are catching up to me! I could definitely build something better, if only this game wasn't so addicting…I'll get back to work…in…a few…hours.

**Dionysus:**

Zeus banned me from wine. But I think I've found something even better. WHAT NOW? XD

**Hestia:**

I can't play because every time I bring the shiny device near the fireplace, it melts :'(

**What did you think? My favorite was Apollo! XD Any suggestions? Review! :)**


	2. Taptap!

**This story needs more love. **

**Tap-tap**

Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Sleek, shiny, and super…awesome. He's also downloaded one of the most popular apps: Tap-tap! Unfortunately for him, the other gods have been stealing his iPod to play this strangely addicting game…

Let's take a look at the songs that each God/Goddess has chosen to play…

**Zeus: **Sparks Fly, by Taylor Swift._ Mortals…do not judge me._

**Poseidon: **Under the Sea, by Disney. _Darling its better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me. Haha Zeus! There are no Disney songs about your stupid clouds!_

**Hades: **California Girls, by Katy Perry. _Well the entrance to the Underworld is in California!...But what are these 'Daisy Dukes' she speaks off? Perhaps I should ask Nico..._

**Hera: **Womanizer, by Britney Spears. _Ahem! My husband should learn something from this!_

**Athena: **Fur Elise, by Beethoven. _Why would I listen to "music" that has been created by this new invention called 'auto tune'?_

**Apollo: **Uh, God of Music here!

Apollo is great,

He has no favorite song,

I am so awesome.

**Artemis: **Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce. _Girls rule the world! Haha, what now, Apollo!_

**Ares: **Forget You, by Cee Lo Green. _Actually, I prefer the explicit version. This is my jam. If you don't like it, forget you!_

**Aphrodite: **Just the Way You Are, by Bruno Mars. _Aww, what a sweetie. Did I mention, he's my son? BTW I totally heart Justin Bieber! He and Selena make such a cute couple! They're almost cuter than Percabeth! _**(A/N: I neither hate nor like Bieber. He's just another singer to me).**

**Hestia: **I'm still not allowed to use the iPod :'(

**Hephaestus: **Born This Way, by Lady Gaga. _Take that Hera! Maybe I was born crippled but I was born this way and I am proud! Don't be a drag…just be a queen…don't be a drag…just…_

**Demeter: **Who wants to listen to music when you could be eating cereal?

**Persephone: **Bad Romance, by Lady Gaga. _Trust me, hon, I know what its like to be stuck in a bad romance...ugh Hades._

**Dionysus: **Shots, by LMFAO, _If only this 'LMFAO' was my demi-god son…it would be the best party, ever. _(Alternately, Raise Your Glass, by P!nk)

**There are sooo many more choices for each god/goddess, but I tried not to repeat artists. What do you think? What would your song choices for each god be?**


	3. DoodleJump

**Gahh I have too much free time. (replies to reviews are at the bottom, cuz I know you want to read my awesome story instead ;) …lol jk :D)**

Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Sleek, shiny, and super…awesome. He's also downloaded one of the most popular apps: Doodle Jump! Unfortunately for him, the other gods have been stealing his iPod to play this strangely addicting game…

**Doodle Jump**

**Zeus: **I do not like the green creature. Why can't I just control the winds to get it to its destination? Sometimes I help mortal airplanes land early, out of the goodness of my heart. Okay, so maybe sometimes I shoot them out of the air…but only on bad days…UGH! I LOST.

**Poseidon: **(Sorry Poseidon is currently busy, because he is on a _Little Mermaid _Spree and does not wish to be bothered…Please leave a message after the conch shell…PAWHHHTRHHR).

**Hades: **Why is this foolish little green creature jumping toward the sky, towards Zeus? Perhaps I should lead it towards my realm. WHY DO I KEEP LOSING?

**Hera: **Little green creature, I have decided to be your Patron. Together you and I will be unstoppable. Who needs Zeus anyways? *boom boom* HA! I JUST BEAT YOUR HIGH SCORE!

**Athena: **I must admit. The little green creature is…how do the mortals speak these days? "totally cute"…oh no, I sound like Aphrodite! It's time to read some AP Calc BC Textbooks!

**Apollo: **

The little green one,

Is cooler than Artemis,

I am so awesome.

**Artemis: **Ahh little green creature, if only you were female. You would make the greatest Hunter ever, with your bravery and resilience.

**Aphrodite: **Aww he's sooo cutee…now I need a pink girl version of him and then I can make a new couple! Yay! Heart3333

**Ares: **My little green homie's got guts.

**Hestia: **Yes! I have successfully stolen the little green creature all for myself! Muh hahahaha

**Dionysus: **Now I know why Annie Bell is mad at that Peter Johnson! He's always consorting with the little green creature!

**High Scores:**

**Angry Birds – Athena**

**Taptap – Apollo**

**DoodleJump – Hera**

**Replies:**

Starlight Comet: Thank you so much! I actually wrote this before playing Angry Birds a lot…so I hope I got it right :)

minite: I'm jealous :P Plants vs. Zombies? Never heard of it. I'll check it out

Akiko: your username is too long to type out…lol. Yes I have PMed you. BioNerds FTW!

yes: Thanks :) I end every haiku with "I am so awesome", lol

SeaweedBrainGirl11: THANK YOU VERY MUCH :D

ANGIE: Athena FTW! Take that Poseidon! XD

I am an Anonymous Person: I couldn't choose between Raise your glass and shots.

ConcreteAngelRoxHerHalo: Initially I was going to do "Single Ladies" for Artemis, but then I decided it didn't make sense because that implied that she had previously been in a relationship. Also I thought it'd be too cliché to use Love Story for Aphrodite

Luis1113: Thank you! I think it's pretty mediocre though

pippy2468 claimed by Hades: My favorite game is Angry Birds too! Rio or Seasons :D


	4. Fruit Ninja

Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Sleek, shiny, and super…awesome. He's also downloaded one of the most popular apps: Fruit Ninja! Unfortunately for him, the other gods have been stealing his iPod to play this strangely addicting game…

**Fruit Ninja:**

**Zeus: **Slash…slash…slash. This isn't going to work. **LIGHTNING BOLT!** Haha I have fried these mortal foods to a crisp!

**Poseidon: **Land crops. The sea will defeat you all! **(tidal wave)**…iPod…why aren't you responding?...sorry Hermes.

**Hades: **UGH! I WILL SUCK THE SOULS OUT OF THESE STUPID FRUITS AND THEN TORTURE THEIR SOULS FOR ETERNITY.

**Hera: **(Sorry, Hera is currently unavailable as she is the Patron of the Little Green Creature, please leave a message after the cow…MOOOOOO).

**Athena: **I feel ashamed that the mortals who created this game didn't include the tomato. Scientifically, it has been established that the tomato is a fruit too. Ignorant little mortals.

**Ares: **BOMBS! If only we had these during the Trojan War…

**Apollo: **

I hate all these bombs,

My score defeats Artemis,

She sucks at this game.

**Artemis: ***supercilious* why would you want to fight with a sword when you could use a bow and arrow?

**Aphrodite: **Hiya! Pow! PEWPEWPEW! Yay! I'm so pretty! AHH! A BOMB! *BOOM*…I'm going to be out of commission for a while…

**Dionysus: **Why are there no grapes in this mortal game?

**Hestia: **Zeus found me playing on the iPod and took it away from me…bully :'(

**Persephone: **I will slash every pomegranate on this mortal game to pieces! DIEDIEDIE! HA, TAKE THAT HADES! YOU STUPID FRUITS WILL NEVER TRICK ME AGAIN! HA! NEW HIGHSCORE!

**Demeter: **I really don't like this game. How could you kill so many plants? Just like Hades, God of Death! He stole my precious daughter!

**High Scores:**

**Angry Birds – Athena**

**Taptap – Apollo**

**DoodleJump – Hera**

**Fruit Ninja – Persephone**

**I actually don't like the game 'Tiny Wings'. Apparently that makes me a weird person. Review :D (thank you for the 19 reviews! Can I get 25? :D)**


	5. RedBall

**I****28 reviews. Awesomeness XD**

**Just a question. What the heck is this Verita that everyone's talking about?**

Hermes, the God of Messengers, interacts with the Mortal World the most and has got himself a snazzy new gadget: The New iPod Touch. Sleek, shiny, and super…awesome. He's also downloaded one of the most popular apps: Red Ball! Unfortunately for him, the other gods have been stealing his iPod to play this strangely addicting game…

**RedBall:**

**Zeus: **Does the red thing have a face? WOO HOO! New High Score! New York, prepare for a week of Sunshine and no rain, wind, tornados, thunder storms, lightning, or any other weather storm that I conjure up...because I'm a god ;)

**Poseidon: **It's…so…fat…like Hades

**Hades: **What? Screw you! Your idiot son never should have fulfilled the prophecy! It should have been mine! STUPID THORNS.

**Hera: **Hmm I think I shall become the Patron for the little red thing as well. Together, the little green creature, the little red thing, and I shall rule the world! Muh hahahahahaha!

**Athena: **WHAT THE ATHENA? THIS STUPID MORTAL GAME DOES NOT OBEY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!...btw I _wrote _the laws of physics so I know what it's all about *smug*

**Apollo:**

I don't like red things.

These axes keep killing me.

I think I will cry.

**Aphrodite: **Why can't it be piiiiiink? Sob.

**Ares: **I hate this stupid red thing for making my girl cry.

**Artemis: **Suck it up, Barbie.

**Hephaestus: **Hey! She was my girl first!

**Demeter: **I believe you should let Aphrodite chose her partner, _UNLIKE SOME OTHER GODS *COUGHCOUGH HADES COUGHCOUGH* _who try to abduct young maidens through…well I dunno feeding them pomegranites?

**Persephone: **….mother. Please stop. You're embarrassing me. It's been over 2 millennia.

**Hestia: **I'm hiding because stole the iPod back from idiot Zeus. *boom boom* CRAP HE'S ON TO ME!...what? You didn't think the eight-year-old girl by the fire didn't know how to curse? SUCK IT ZEUS! YOU LITTLE PIECE OF – (Lightning Bolt)…damn.

**Dionysus: **(We're sorry, Dionysus is currently unavailable because he is jamming out to "Blame it on the Alcohol" on TapTap Revenge, please leave a message after the Jaguar….!)

**High Scores:**

**Angry Birds – Athena**

**Taptap – Apollo**

**DoodleJump – Hera**

**Fruit Ninja – Persephone**

**Red Ball – Zeus**

**Actually I think the Verita is an award, right? Hmm…evil plans are currently being formulated XD…I think I'll go consult Athena for a fool-proof strategy to victory! LOL :)**

**Thanks for the 28 reviews! Now go review…again? O.o**


End file.
